I was born and raised in the town of Islip, on the South Shore of Long Island, New York. My family lived in a large three-story Victorian house in an upper-middle class neighborhood within walking distance of the Great South Bay.
Our home was situated in an enclave of majestic homes originally built as summer residences for the upper-middle class families who migrated to Long Island to escape the sweltering heat that would grip New York City every summer. Even today, the town remains as a lasting tribute to the architects who designed these beautiful and graceful old homes. The present residents still maintain their homes and continue to retain the structures as they were originally built. Stately old oak trees line both sides of the streets. The neighborhood gives you the definite feeling of permanence.
Our family was large by today's standards. We were six in all, my older sister, Bobbie, age eleven, I was six, Sarah was four, and Claudia was two years old.
My parents decided shortly after my sister, Claudia, was born, that our home needed some major renovations. We really needed to modernize to accommodate our growing family. This was something that had been in the planning stages for some time.
The week after school was out that summer; the workmen arrived. They spent the next three months renovating our home. It was rough on everyone during that time, yet after they finished, the house was absolutely beautiful, and completely modernized throughout, with a new kitchen, bathrooms, electrical wiring, plumbing, heating system and a new roof. Naturally, the entire house needed to be redecorated, both inside and outside. After the work was finished, it looked like a new house.
One year later, fate was to strike us a devastating blow. My beloved father suffered a massive stroke and died. At least Dad was able to enjoy the house of his dreams before he was taken from us. It was a tragic blow to our family and it took us many years to accept his death, however, I never did, even to this day. As hard as it was on us children, it was especially hard on my mom. Theirs was a story book marriage, and they remained a loving couple throughout their marriage. Mom told me years later that her honeymoon ended the day my father died.
He was a super dad and a wonderful man, a kind and loving father. He also was the most handsome dad in the world. Bobbie complimented him on his good looks and thought he should have been a movie star, he was that good looking. Dad would smile and shrug it off, but deep down, I know he felt flattered.
Life was never the same for me after my dad died. I loved him so much and missed him a lot. He was a great guy and showed his love for us in so many ways. He always found the time to spend with us kids. In the evenings he would help us with our homework and little school projects. He would read to us every night at bedtime and gave us a big hug and a kiss before lights out. Even though I was only six, he would find some reason to involve me in his little projects around the house, saying we men have to stick together. Whenever he ran errands, he took me along for the ride. It left a big hole in each of our hearts after he died. I still treasure the pencil sketches he drew of me.
After his death, it didn't take Mom long to realize that we couldn't possibly live on the money from his insurance policy. After all the outstanding debts were settled, she was left with one hundred thousand dollars. Fortunately for us, the insurance policies paid off the mortgages and the automobile loans. The balance in our tuition fund was only enough for a total of six years of college for all the children. That's when Mom decided to go back to work. She hired a capable housekeeper and returned to her practice as a Pediatrician.
It was tough for her trying to reestablish her practice after being a housewife for so many years. Fortunately, she kept her license to practice medicine current. She did keep her hand in over the years by covering for her colleagues when they were away.
Two years after returning to work, our lives were to change dramatically once again. That is when she married Gordon Purdey. Mom met Gordon one day when he brought his two children, Scott and Joy, into her office for their check-up.
Gordon Purdey was a corporate attorney with the Sperry Corporation. Originally, Gordon and his family lived in Washington, D.C. until he received a substantial promotion and was transferred to the corporate headquarters in New York. He settled his family in Islip, because it was the ideal location for his new position as Regional Director for Nassau and Suffolk Counties. Mrs. Purdey usually brought the children in for their check-up, until her illness became too much for her. She had developed cancer shortly after they relocated to Islip. From that point on, Gordon had taken over all his wife's duties outside the home.
Gordon became depressed when his wife's condition worsened. It also had a negative effect on his son, Scott. He was at an impressionable age and took his mother's illness very hard. He was the eldest and was very close to his mother. Gordon discussed this with my Mom on his first visit and asked her to recommend a therapist to help Scott to adjust. She recommended a specialist in family counseling and advised him to involve the whole family in the counseling program. Mom could empathize with Gordon, since she had lived through the same ordeal.
Mother and Gordon hit it off, and she saw that he was invited to events in her social circle. Most of Gordon's close friends lived in Washington and he had not had time to make any new friends in Islip. That was another reason Gordon and Mom became friends. He was a handsome man and the same age as Mom. It was easy to see why they were drawn to each other. They were both attractive and intelligent people.
Even before Mrs. Purdey passed away, the Purdey children became visitors to our home. After she died, the Purdeys were regulars in our home spending practically every weekend with us. Gordon and Mom planned special little weekend events away from home. It was fun and we learned about so many new places.
Scott Purdey and Bobbie were the same age. I was five years younger. Scott was a great guy and we became instant friends. Sometimes Mom would let me stay overnight at the Purdey's house when his sister Joy was staying at our house.
It didn't come as a big surprise when mother and Gordon made the announcement that they were going to marry and we would be one big happy family. By that time, we were so used to the Purdeys, it seemed only natural that they would move in with us. We all adjusted very quickly, or so it seemed at the time.
Personally, I was thrilled. I liked the Purdeys and felt I wasn't outnumbered any longer. Now the odds were evened, having two more males in the house. Scott and Bobbie were the most affected by the new arrangements. Since they were the older siblings, their bonds to their deceased parents were much stronger. I think there was a little resentment on their parts with the new marriage, but they adjusted.
Our parents realized there might be problems with our new arrangement and gave us all a set of ground rules to follow. They were pretty much the same rules we always had. Be kind to each other, no hitting, shouting, name calling or cursing, that sort of thing. We all were assigned our chores and had to keep our rooms tidy at all times.
Scott and I lucked out on getting the large bedroom with the private bath. Mom had switched the rooms around. The girls took the connecting bedrooms and shared the main bathroom. Of course, the folks had the master bedroom with their own bath. The parents went through the furniture from both homes, and after much deliberation, we decided what we were keeping. My bedroom furniture was replaced with Scott's, since his was newer and had a set of twin beds. After that was sorted out, Dad sold the Purdey house completely furnished.
Those first months were traumatic for everyone and it took several more months until we settled into a regular routine. Scott immediately established his role as the older brother, which I didn't mind at all. Even though he was five years older than I was, he treated me with kindness and understanding. He was big for his age and as handsome as his dad. Scott was everything I hoped for in a brother. He was patient with me and took the time to explained things to me properly.
I may have been smaller then Scott, but I was not far behind him in intelligence and maturity. In some areas I was way ahead of him. I had always been anxious to learn, even at an early age. My parents encouraged me and saw to it that I received the right educators and also a psychologist to direct me on the right path without jeopardizing my interaction with other children my own age. My reading and comprehension were at college level. I was also gifted in science and mathematics and was fluent in Spanish and German while still in grammar school. This all came as a complete shock to Scott. It wasn't until I was able to tutor him in Geometry and Chemistry that he began to really accept me for my abilities. This was our secret. Of course, the rest of the family knew of my special talents, but no one outside our immediate family. Scott and I had a deal, I helped him to study and he watched over me. No bully ever bothered me again after Scott walked into my life.
We were living together six months when Dad had to leave town on business. Scott was still not over his mother's death and still had periods of depression that he tried to hide from everyone. When things got him down, he went to his father to talk things out. With his dad gone, he became increasingly moody as the days passed. That was the first time I ever saw the crack in his armor. He hadn't talked much for the entire week, which was so unlike him. He came home right after school and stayed in our room most of the day. I couldn't for the life of me, figure out what was wrong.
Finally, I couldn't take it any longer. "Scott, what have I done to upset you?"
"Jarv, it has nothing to do with you, or the family. Please leave me alone for a while."
So I did as he asked and left him alone.
Later that night, his crying woke me out of a sound sleep. He was so loud I thought he would wake Mom and the girls. So I shook him until he awoke. "I'm sorry to wake you, Scott, but you were hollering so loud, I was afraid you would have the whole family banging on the door."
"I'm sorry, Jarv, I was having a bad dream," Scott said. "Thanks for waking me, you go on back to bed, I'll be okay."
"No! I'm not moving an inch until you tell me what's wrong. I'm really worried, Scott. You've not been acting like yourself for the past week and that's so unlike you. Something is bothering you, or you wouldn't be crying in your sleep. Please, Scott, don't shut me out, I'm your brother. You're hurting and I'm not going to sit by and see you suffering like this. You know the rules, if anything is wrong with us, we must tell the folks."
"Please don't, Jarv. It's just that I miss my mom so much. Your mom is super and all that, but she's not my mother. Usually Dad and I talk when I get depressed like this, but he's not here. I'm going to have to learn to tough-it-out on my own and live with the fact that my mom is gone. Everything I grew up with, my mom, our home, is all gone now. It's just hard to accept. I miss the hugs and affection my mom used to give me, you know how it is."
"I know, Scott, your dad is a great guy, but you're right, he can never replace my dad. They're gone, Scott, and we can't bring them back. But we're brothers now and we have to lean on each other. If we stick together and accept things the way they are, we'll be okay. I'm really the lucky one because I have you, Scott. You've been good to me and have treated me just like my dad used to. I don't miss him as much now since I have you to lean on."
I turned off the light and got into bed with him. Scott didn't say a word. He pulled me close to him and held me tight and cried softly for what seemed like forever that night. I could feel his sobbing as I drifted off to sleep. I was still in his arms the next morning when the alarm went off at 6:30. Scott seemed his old self again, acting as if nothing had happened.
He never woke up crying again after that night. From then on Scott treated me not only as a brother, but as his best friend. After that night, he opened up and told me all about his mother. He would crawl into my bed and talk about his mother until we fell asleep. I realized what a super lady his mother was and understood why he loved her so much.
Scott and Joy were lucky to have a stepmother like my mom. She treated us all with love and affection. Mom told me years later that she was very lucky to have married two wonderful men and to be blessed with six wonderful children.
As the years passed, the family grew closer together. I'm convinced now, that had Scott been my blood brother, we would not have become as close as we were. We had a close relationship and shared our thoughts, our dreams and many of our problems. The bond that developed between us was to last a lifetime.
As you might expect, our personalities changed as we grew older. Scott became more confident and outgoing. My sister Bobbie played a major part in that. They were both the same age and both were attractive. Bobbie had always been a popular girl and made sure Scott was accepted into her large circle of friends. If Bobbie took you on as a project, you really had little choice but to go along with her. She had a big heart and was Miss Congeniality personified, yet she was outspoken, certainly not someone that you wanted to oppose. She forced Scott out of his shell, taught him how to dance and gave him pointers on how to behave around other girls. She also made sure he dated the right girls. That gave him the confidence he needed to blossom. He not only became accepted in her large circle of friends but became popular in high school. His star rose when he became active in sports.
Scott was always big for his age, but in Junior and Senior High School he really grew, up to the point where he was as tall as his dad. He was accepted on the football squad in his freshman year and went on from there. Mom thought he would never stop growing. He could sure put the food away. I was starting to develop as well, but I knew I would never be a jock like Scott. I took after my dad's side of the family, and he was only 5'9". I would be lucky to be that tall.
As teenagers we were able to find work during the summers with Dad's help. At first, we tried to find part time jobs locally, without much success. Dad used his connections to land us good jobs as office boys at Young & Rubicon, one of the leading advertising agencies on Madison Avenue. It didn't hurt that one of Dad's fraternity brothers just happened to be a staff vice president in the legal department. He in turn, mentioned us to the Human Resources Director, and presto, they hired us.
We joined the ranks of the 'Dashing Dans', the nickname used for the three hundred thousand commuters that rode the Long Island Rail Road every day into the City. We commuted into Manhattan every summer vacation from then on. After that first summer working in the City, we knew the City just like the regulars. The jobs in Islip were scarce and what jobs where available didn't pay as well as those in the city. We still made a better salary in the city, even after deducting our travel expenses. Luckily, I keep my job with Y&R throughout high school and beyond. The commuting wasn't all that bad, since we only had to put up with it for the summer months. Commuting on the LIRR was an experience. The regulars caught the same train every day. Over time, you developed a nodding acquaintance with your fellow commuters... some clustered in small groups to play cards while others were quite content to read. Most commuters shied clear of the talkers and the loud-mouthed card players to catch up on their sleep.
One of the major disadvantages of living in a small town like Islip is that everyone knows your business and many thought they were matchmakers. Friends and family alike were guilty of trying to fix me up with a date. They meant well, but invariably these blind dates turned out to be real bow-wows. Frankly, I preferred finding my own dates... thank you very much. After several bad experiences, I refused all blind dates. Anyway, while I was in High School the whole dating scene changed. Dating wasn't the same as when my parents were in school. Our crowd would meet at one of the popular hangouts. Gone were the days of picking up your date at her home. There was a lot less pressure now on all concerned.
Once we had saved enough money from our first summer jobs, Scott and I pooled our funds and invested in a small sailboat. Above the waterline the boat was in great shape, but her wooden hull needed serious work. That's the only reason we picked her up so cheaply. She had a good little engine and her rigging was fine. She also had two sets of sails and a dingy. We spent every weekend and any spare time working on her to get her seaworthy. Our efforts paid off as we had her ready the spring of the following year. It was worth every hour and dollar we spent. We were both good sailors and kept the boat in the water year-round after she was launched. If we had a long weekend, the two of us would take off sailing, winter and summer alike. We had great times together and loved to sail.
My stepfather legally adopted us eight years ago. He was a kind man with the patience of a saint. He never raised his voice, or struck us. On those rare occasions when we misbehaved we were grounded, or had to read a book then write a book report. This lesson was not wasted on us, because it taught us not only to think about what we had done, but also to take responsibility for our actions. I've always been thankful to my parents for raising us in such a nurturing and understanding environment.
I never realized how great my family was until I had the opportunity to observe how other families got along. I was appalled the first time I was invited to my good friend's home for dinner. It was a shocking experience. Not only did the entire family yell at each other, but they said unkind things to each other. I think the most astonishing thing was their openness about sex, and of the vulgar language they used. It was certainly out of place at the dinner table. It was the kind of language that Scott and I would whisper to each other behind closed doors. It was strange, because the Giglianos were respected members of our church and in our community as well. If I raised my voice that loud, using such vile language, my family would have been shocked. I would still be writing book reports. Scott was amused and kidded me about living too sheltered a life. In spite of what he said, he never used that kind of language around me.
All my studying and reading paid off for me in the long run. I had skipped ahead two years in school. One year each in Junior and Senior High School. That put me two years behind Scott. Bobbie was the first to leave the nest. She also completed high school in three years and was off to Yale Law School in New Haven. The following year Scott left for Cornell in Ithaca, New York to study medicine. It looked like we would have another doctor and lawyer in the family. Mother and Dad were so proud of both of them. I was happy for them as well, but their absence left quite a dent in my social life.
One consolation was that they were home for the holidays and for summer vacation. Then it was like old times again. Scott continued to commute with me into the city for our part time summer jobs. I really enjoyed hanging out with him. He was the epitome of the expression, 'tall, dark and handsome'. Although he was in college, and traveled with an older crowd, we never lost that closeness we developed in our relationship. Scott called me every Sunday afternoon to catch up on the events of our week. Sometimes he would call during the week if he needed to talk. It made me feel good to know that we were still close.
Bobbie developed into a beautiful woman, just like Mom. Personally, I thought Bobbie and Scott were the two most attractive people in the world. They were also extremely popular as well. Dad had a second telephone installed with an answering machine to take care of their telephone calls. Years ago Mom and Dad had established the tradition of a family vacation every summer. They usually scheduled it the second and third weeks in August, just before we returned to school in September. We all had a say in where we spent our vacation, it was always a different place and we always had a great time.
The years flew by for the family. Here we were on our way to Cornell to attend Scott's graduation from Medical School. Two days later we attended Bobbie's graduation from Yale. Mom was especially proud of Bobbie, because she completed six years of law school in five years. It was quite a week for the entire family. We all shared their joy and were very proud of them. The two of them set the high standards for the rest of us to follow. Bobbie surprised us all with yet another unexpected announcement. Her boyfriend, Dan Hurley, announced their engagement at their graduation party. Dan proposed to Bobbie the week before graduation and gave her a beautiful diamond engagement ring. Dan's folks knew about his surprise and planned a combination graduation and engagement party for the happy couple at the Hurley's estate in Westport, Connecticut.
Dan's parents were gracious hosts. Dan, now, was also a lawyer and he would be joining his father's law firm in New York City. As you may have already guessed, the Hurleys did not have to worry where their next meal was coming from, that's for sure. We're talking old money here, folks. Their mansion was large enough to accommodate our entire family, with room to spare. We had the chance to get to know Dan's younger brother, Darren, and his two married sisters. It was quite an exciting time.
We also were introduced to Scott's new girlfriend Margot, who graduated from Cornell with Scott. I never gave her a second thought as Scott went through girlfriends like a hot knife through butter. He had a new girl friend every few months. Margot was a little different from Scott's usual type. She was an only child who came from a well-to-do family. She had set her cap for Scott and was the kind of woman who usually got what she went after; so I was told by some of Scott's buddies.
Scott and I double-dated a couple of times before he met Margot, and I can tell you, he is somebody to admire. Scott is a delightful person to be with, and he's charming and always the perfect gentleman. He puts his date on a pedestal and gives her his undivided attention. All his former girl friends still adored him, but they didn't get too serious. When that happened, he dropped them like a hot potato. Margot Cunningham was different. She was a no-nonsense type of girl who was always in control. Margot's daddy always managed to have tickets to Broadway shows for Scott and Margot, and made sure they were invited to the best parties in town. Scott enjoyed the social activities and driving around in her BMW convertible. Margot was not the kissy-touchy type girl Scott was used to dating. I didn't think she was right for Scott, but time would tell. He still had another six years ahead of him before he became a specialist.
I graduated from high school just as Scott finished his first year of internship at Bellevue Hospital. My graduation gift from Scott was an all-expense-paid trip to Florida with him for two glorious weeks in the sun. It was like old times being alone with Scott. We took part in every sport activity available, scuba diving, sailing, and deep-sea fishing. It was great to be able to play tennis every morning before breakfast. I had forgotten how much I missed Scott; he was amusing, charming and fun to be with. By the end of the second week we we're sporting great tans and were completely rested.
Our last night on the road was special. Scott made reservations at an elegant restaurant that was at one time a private home. It was a charming old place on the outskirts of Richmond, definitely a tie-and-jacket type place. It was a refreshing change after two weeks of casual dining. We sat out on the terrace and had our cocktails before dinner. It was a romantic setting with the soft lighting and candle-lit tables. A live string quartet could be heard playing just inside in the dining room.
I raised my wine glass and made a toast, "To you, Scott, the most wonderful brother a guy could ever hope for. Thanks for this great vacation. Who else would take two weeks off and spend it with a kid brother. I know how precious your time is these days." We touched our wine glasses and drank.
"You're welcome, Jarv. We aren't like most other brothers, are we? I've always thought we were kind of special. This trip is my way of saying thanks for being a great brother. I've never forgotten how you helped me over the rough spots. You're still my best friend. I love you, Jarv, and even though we're going our separate ways, my feelings for you will never change. I'm the one who got the best end of the deal on this vacation. I toast you, little brother. You've grown into a handsome man, Jarv. It amazes me how quickly you've made the transition from a teenager to an adult. I'm sure the girls are chasing after you already." We touched glasses.
"Thanks, Scott, let's not drift apart like so many brothers do, I would hate to see that happen to us."
Scott smiled, "Don't worry, we're still family and nothing will change that. We'll stick to our usual Sunday evening telephone ritual, unless you rather change that to another time."
"No, Sunday afternoon is good for me."
"What do you think of Margot?" Scott asked.
"I don't think it's fair to judge her based on the few times that we've met."
"Quite the diplomat, aren't you? That's your tactful way of telling me you don't much care for her? Now level with me, Jarv."
"Okay, let's say I don't think Margot is the right woman for you. I think she's manipulative and will never become the loving wife you're looking for. However, I will accept her as your wife once you're married. Never tell Margot my true feelings about her, because if you do, she'll see to it that I'm not welcome in your home."
"Come on, Jarv. Don't you think you're being a little hard on Margot?"
"Scott, you asked me for my opinion and I gave it to you. Let's drop the subject; I don't want to spoil our last evening together."
"OK, so what do you think of Dan Hurley?" asked Scott.
"I think he is a great guy who will make Bobbie happy. I wish them a long and happy life together. God, do you realize they are going to be married in two months? Where does the time go? You're going to laugh, but I always thought in the back of my mind that you and Bobbie would marry one day."
"Now that would have started a lot of tongues wagging. I realize we're not talking incest here. I love Bobbie, but not in that way, even though we would make an attractive couple in your scheme of things. Well, little brother, let's order dinner, I'm starved."
I always had a warm place in my heart for Scott as a brother, but after spending two weeks alone with him, I knew without any doubt. I was in love with him.